Put the Biscuit in the Basket!

It’s common knowledge among the “in” crowd that there are two things that Sir Mix-a-Lot really likes.

Big Butts and Biscuits.

It didn’t reach national acclaim like “Baby Got Back”, but “Buttermilk Biscuits” is Sir Mix-a-Lot’s greatest artistic endeavor.

(Listen to music while reading)


With that in mind, I was surprised to find that National Biscuit Month is September and not August, the birth month of Anthony Ray (Sir Mix-a-Lot)

Biscuits are a magical item… So much better than normal bread… They’re more versatile than English muffins… They can go places that the dainty croissant wouldn’t dare go…  Unlike scones, they can be the entire meal… Just slather them in some sausage gravy.

I have lofty goals in life… Find the world’s best cheeseburger… Find the world’s best bbq ribs… Find the world’s best mac-n-cheese… Find the world’s best cheese fries… Find the world’s best sweet potato(e) fries… But sadly the one thing I should pursue and woefully neglect is find the world’s best biscuit… I’ve had a few good ones in my day, but not being a breakfast person I tend to overlook one of the crown jewels of the food you put stuff on or in world.

With that being said, this May I was lucky enough to stumble on the epicenter of Biscuitopia… The International Biscuit Festival… I was on a trip with Aggie baseball that took me to Knoxville, Tennessee… As we checked into our hotel on Thursday I gazed out to a bunch of tents being set up on the street… Balloons on the mailbox is the international sign for "party over here"… Tents on the street are the international sign for a "festival of fun"… After checking into the hotel, I sprinted… Sprinted as fast as a morbidly obese person can sprint… It appeared to be a walk… Down to the tents to see what was brewing… That’s when I spotted the sign… International Biscuit Festival… And it’s this weekend!

I immediately sprinted back to the hotel to jump on the computer to see what this was all about… It appeared to be a walk… BiscuitFest.com… It has everything… A food writing conference… a “biscuit bash” gala… a biscuit bake-off… biscuit bazaar selling products to help you become a better biscuiteer... Miss and Mr. Biscuit Pageant… a biscuit songwriting competition… a biscuit brunch… and the thing I would be gunning for... a “Biscuit Boulevard”, where biscuiteers would be slinging their biscuits… The Biscuit Boulevard would be open from 9 am-3 pm on Saturday… Our bus was leaving for the ballyard at 10:30 am… That didn’t leave much time for biscuit gobbling… But a time limit and the light rain falling that morning wouldn’t stop me… At first the ticket seemed steep… $10… For a chance to sample five biscuits.

I've got a golden ticket!

But after the first two, I realized that it was well worth it… The first one I got was a mouthful… Literally and figuratively… Candied Benton’s Bacon, Clabbered Cream, Honey and Balsamic Reduction Buttermilk Biscuit… And then a Sweetwater Valley Smoked Cheddar and Onion Biscuit… The People’s Choice Award winner Andouille Shrimp and Grits Biscuit… With time running short, I managed just one more biscuit… The Pimento Cheese Buttermilk Biscuit.

Candied Benton’s Bacon, Clabbered Cream, Honey and Balsamic Reduction Buttermilk Biscuit

Andouille Shrimp and Grits Biscuit

The only disappointment of BiscuitFest was purchasing a XXL t-shirt without giving it a lookover… The thing is a Large at best… I will never ever ever get to wear it… I don’t think it will fit around my left thigh.

The 2014 International Biscuit Festival is slated for May 15-17… Sadly, unless some unforeseen circumstances occur, I will not be at Biscuit Fest Oh-Fourteen… But hopefully you will.

If you’re in Knoxville when it’s not International Biscuit Festival, go to Tupelo Honey Café… They have amazing biscuits!

The biscuit at Tupelo Honey Cafe in Knoxville... Get there.

I won’t say the following are the best biscuits in the world… I need a lot more sampling to make those claims… but here are some other notable biscuits I’ve tried recently that have, in the worlds of Chris Matthews, gave me this thrill going up my leg.

Maxine’s on Main – Bastrop, Texas

Look at this photo! Biscuits and Gravy with Bacon!

Hullabaloo Diner – College Station, Texas

Biscuits and gravy with eggs and home fries at Hullabaloo Diner... It's worth the hullabaloo.

Waysider – Tuscaloosa, Alabama

The rest of the meal was Cracker Barrelish (good but not extraordinary), but these biscuits were near perfection.

Big Bad Breakfast – Oxford, Mississippi

The biscuit was one of the main attractions with the Dear American Airlines... The rest of the meal was toasted sourdough, country ham, egg and cheddar cheese with a side of grits.

11-Worth Café – Omaha, Nebraska

The Robert E Lee... Two sausage patties in between two 2 large biscuits... Served with hash browns and smothered with their semi-world famous country gravy.

Let me know where I need to get some biscuits! … And hopefully we run into Sir Mix-a-Lot