The Quintessential Quintet for the Week (8/30/13)

Five Things From The Week That Was!

1. Zoo View!
I just stumbled across this fantastic new addition to Google Maps Street View... They’ve gone inside of zoos and took a look around... Street Zoo!... or Zoo View!... Now you can check out the zoo before you go.   

Check out the zoo before you go!

2. Artwork
I recently got some Americana art work… Recently being February 2… Armadillo Day posters... Armadillo Day is one of my favorite days of the year… If you’ve always come up with a lame excuse for not going like you have to get a hair cut or have to take a dog to a spa day, we’re probably not friends... February 2 and I just got them framed... After initial sticker shock of how much it cost to get framed (I thought the lady was quoting me the price for all three photos, when it was in fact the price for each frame job individually) I’m delighted at the prospects of having the classiest office at Kyle Field.

Two of the three posters that will make office W143 the classiest at Kyle Field

3. I aint falling for no banana in my tailpipe

Tuesday was National Banana Lover’s Day... Everybody should have celebrated that day, because everybody loves a banana!... I celebrated with Bacon-Wrapped Bananas with Cajun Maple Glaze... They’re amazing… The recipe I ripped off is here.

Bacon-Wrapped Bananas with Cajun Maple Glaze on Moose Plate

4. Two birds one stone
I like to take themed photos and have places for them on Facebook.. One I call “Famous People I’ve Almost Met But I Was Too Afraid To Talk To” (grown adults wearing athletic jerseys outside of the tailgating/game attendance setting) and another is called “Deal Closers” (people who wear BlueToofs around even when they’re not driving in a car)… Friday I got lucky and hit two categories in one photo!... Feel free to send me photos at tdick16@hotmail.com or start your own themed albums!

A guy closing deals AND Johnny Football!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

5. This week’s dog… Reveille VIII
With the opening of college football season, we’re honoring, the First Lady of College Football... Reveille VIII... She’s a Rough Collie and the highest ranking member of the Corps of Cadets, but she’s also a regal beagle!... Here's a historic timeline of Reveille on AggieAthletics.com

I captured a photo of the largest moving picture of an American Collie ever produced!

Hughes Your Daddy!

What are you going to see when you go to Chicago?

Wrigley Field? It’s okay the first time… No real need to go the second time.

Navy Pier? Meh… Every town with lakefront/oceanfront property has a similar place.

Sears Tower? You’re really far up… and the shits could fall down any time.

What am I going to see when I go to Chicago?

Places from John Hughes movies!

On a recent trip to visit my friend Keith Olenik, AKA Shooter, AKA Shooter McGavin, AKA Ollie the Goalie, AKA The Netminder, who moved to Chicago a few years back, I partook on the semi-ultimate Hugheserism.

It was the Fourth of July and Ollie the Goalie and his apartment buddy Mike were getting ready for the party they were hosting and I didn’t have much to do, so I threw on my Shermer High School Wrestling Shirt and Hit the Road!

Shermer High School Wrestling Rules!

The first visit was stop was 9511 Harrison Street, Des Plaines…. It’s now the home of an Illinois State Police headquarters… Back in the day it was Maine North High School which served as the exterior for the high school in Breakfast Club… If I had someone along with me, I would’ve recreated the parents dropping the kids off for Saturday school scene… But alas, there was no one there.

Shermer High School now... Five-Oh.

Shermer High School then... Tapin' Larry Lester's buns together.

The next visit was 2604 Lincoln Street, Evanston… The Russell House… From Uncle Buck! It’s everything I thought it would be… I imagined Uncle Buck inside making some big-ass pancakes for the kids… I wanted to park my 1995 Volvo Luxury Sedan in front of the house and snap off some photos, but the neighbors were all eyeballing me… And I have some couth… So I just paced back and forth in front of the house a couple times and snapped off some photos.

The Russell's house now...

The Russell's house then... love the Oldsmobuick!

I didn’t find the next stop to be photo worthy… New Trier High School in Winnetka… It was the school from Uncle Buck, but it had such a face lift that it was nearly unrecognizable… Or I just remember the movie wrong.

After the disappointment, I regrouped and headed to 671 Lincoln Avenue, Winnetka… The McCallister home!... From Home Alone!... The best non-Christmas movie set at Christmastime ever made… Once again, I had too much couth to turn on the water and run like the wet bandits… So I scurried along and snapped a few shots before the neighbors called the cops.

McCallister's all dressed up for Christmas in a non-Christmas movie.

McCallister's house now.

Side Note… In scientific polling, 74 percent of all people agree that Home Alone is a movie that took place at Christmas and not a Christmas movie.

I was re-energized and headed to the Glencoe Union Church… Where Ginny Baker got married.
Jake: Married?
Long Duk Dong: Married.
Jake: Married?
Long Duk Dong: Yeah. Married
[closes door]
Jake: [turns around, under breath to himself] Married?
Long Duk Dong: Married! Jeez

The Sixteen Candles Church now

The Sixteen Candles Church then

And it’s where Jake was waiting out front for Samantha! … There was nobody waiting outside for me. :(

Matt Dillon waiting by the Porsche!

These days Matt Dillon would have to diagonal park.

Side Note… For about 15 years of my life, I thought Jake Ryan was played by Matt Dillon... I had no idea who Michael Schoeffling was.

It was getting close to Fourth of July Party time, so I made one last stop… Glenbrook North High School, 2300 Shermer Road, Northbrook… Ferris Bueller’s school!... If I had someone along with me, I would’ve recreated the picking up Sloan Peterson scene… But alas, there was no one there.

Sloan Peterson... Meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee-ow!

Principal Rooney musta notta let her out of class.

I had the 1995 Volvo Luxury Sedan parked out front waiting for her.

Glenbrook North’s football field was also home of the Judd Nelson football field scene in The Breakfast Club, but they were re-sodding the field, so a fist-raising selfie was not in the cards… Every time I’m on a football field I want to re-enact that scene.

Unable to recreate due to re-sodding of football field.

As a bonus, on the drive back home to Texas I was able to stop by the Sun Motel, Braidwood… Which was the Braidwood Motel in Planes, Trains and Automobiles!... It’s a real shit-hole now.

I love these guys... One of the best movies ever made.

It's a real shit-hole... I woulda re-created the scene, but i didn't want to get molested.

I still have places I need to get to… I’d love to lay in the front lawn like the Donger… Minus getting the canine cologne… And I’d like to see Cameron’s house with the Ferrari garage and Jake Ryan’s house… But that’ll have to wait for next time… Between Wrigley Field and Navy Pier.If you want to see them yourself... Here's a good reference ... Or just give me a heads-up... I'll come check them out with you.

The Slopper!

Rarely am I surprised by a food offering… I’m tuned in to what’s going on in the food world… I used to watch the food TV… I read the food magazines… I partake in in-depth perusal of the food interweb… I know about most regional food offerings.

On my recent trip home from Colorado I was surprised for the first time in a long time… A wonderful surprise.

Timing up meals on trips so they line up with places offering with unique and worthwhile food is one of the keys to making good travel plans.

I thought I had effed this one up… I left my aunt and uncle’s house near Boulder, Colorado to go back to Texas at 6 am… I was taking the Pueblo route to try to find Cousin Eddie’s house… It was supposed to be on US Route 50 East of Pueblo… The course was going to put me in Pueblo at breakfast time… With no other major food destination until Amarillo, six hours away… If I was lucky, I’d find a Cracker Barrel... If I wasn’t lucky, I’d be eating a sausage biscuit from The Flying J.

If there’s one thing I’m good at, it’s Googling-And-Driving… Or Yelping-And-Driving… As I approached Pueblo, I started my quick research on what to see and where to eat in town… That’s when I came across something I had never heard of before… Multiple references to The Slopper.

The Slopper!

A cheeseburger smothered with red chile or green chile or chile sauce… I don’t know how I had never heard of this before… Pueblo is known for them… It’s their shtick.

Gray’s Coors Tavern (how great is a Tavern named after Coors) and Sunset Inn are the two main names in the town when it comes to The Slopper… I couldn’t wait to try one of them… I was giddy with excitement… But shit!... It’s 8:30 am… Neither one opens until 11 am… The roller coaster of emotions is unreal… Going to have to eat at Cracker Barrel :(… Going to get to eat The Slopper! :) ... Going to have to eat at Cracker Barrel :(

I wonder if they have Coors?

After finding a hotel that was allegedly used in National Lampoon’s Vacation and not recognizing it, so thusly not photographing it, I decided to take one last stab at the GoogleYelpUrbanspooning… That’s when I come across “Musso’s Restaurant”… Three or four people, who I think I can trust, gave reviews on various sites alleging they had the best slopper in town… There’s a science to reading reviews… Never trust someone who has just reviewed one or two places… They’re a plant… Never trust someone who loves every place… Never trust someone who hates every place… My women’s intuition also allows other sciences to sort through the veracity of the reviews… Three or four people were calling this the home of the best The Slopper in town… And they’re open for breakfast! … We’re back in the game.

I got to Musso’s at 9 m… It was about half full on a Sunday… I reckon people eating some vittles before heading to church… I had the nicest waitress… I think she wanted to make out with me… At least that’s what I always think when they constantly refill my beverage without me having to ask.

I gave a fake lookover of the menu… How was I going to order anything but The Slopper

When it came out, it was a sight to behold… I love green chile… This was an open faced double cheeseburger smothered in green chile sauce… The sauce didn’t overpower the cheeseburger, which I reckon would’ve been a pretty solid cheeseburger without the smothering… It also came with some pretty legit fries fries… In all, it was a hardy breakfast… I’d give it a 4.5 on the Yelp scale.

The Slopper at Musso's Restaurant

While eating my meal, I did some Googling-And-Dining, which I almost do as well as Googling-And-Driving… From all that I read, Gray’s Coors Tavern and Sunset Inn were supposed to be a step ahead of all the others and Musso’s was in the next tier… If Gray’s Coors Tavern and Sunset Inn’s The Slopper was better than what I just ate, they have to be pretty amazing, because Musso's was fantastic.

NOT MY PHOTO - The Slopper at Sunset Inn

Pueblo may never be a destination for you, unless you are intent on finding Cousin Eddie’s house, but it should most definitely be “on the way” to somewhere... For The Slopper.

My only regret is giving the menu a fake lookover... As it turns out, Musso’s, which is also known for its homemade Sicilian sausage sandwiches, makes ‘The Italian Slopper’ with sauseege instead of a cheeseburger.

After my inspiring meal, I hit the highway in search of Cousin Eddie’s house, which I never found… But it didn’t matter, because I was happy with what I did find… The Slopper.

I’ll Be at the Library!

When I moved to Texas, I promised myself I was going to do Texas stuff… I spent a year in Georgia for graduate school and didn’t do any Georgia stuff besides work the Olympics, but that really isn’t Georgia stuff… That’s corrupt Europeans taking kickbacks stuff and white trash selling bootlegged items stuff with some sports going on… I worked in North Carolina as an intern and really didn’t do much North Carolina stuff, except audition to be an extra on Dawson’s Creek… Turned down because fat kids don’t go to Cape Side… I don’t want your life… I spent two years in New Mexico and really didn’t do much New Mexico stuff… In my years in New Jersey, I did Jersey Shore stuff, except having to see the butt doctor and the tan part of GTL, but not really much of the other Jersey stuff.

I once worked by Cape Side High School... Pre-scientologist Joey... Meeeeeeee-ow.

That guy was my doctor... We didn't get that friendly. #truestory

So here I was in Texas… Didn’t know nobody… Nobody liked the carpetbagger… If I was going to see Texas, I was going to have to go all by myself... All by myself… Don't wanna be all by myself… Anymore… All by myself… Don't wanna live all by myself… Anymore.
 

So the first week, towards the end of each work day I would scour the sites like Austin360 and Austin Chronicle to see if there was any Texas stuff going on… The first four or five days, there wasn’t much going on, but then August 27th came.

August 27, also known as my sister Alexis’ birthday… She was born when I was a freshman in high school… I was always the baby of the family and then on that day I became Malcolm in the Middle, singing the Meow Mix song.
 

Any how, August 27 is also Lyndon Baines Johnson’s birthday!... LBJ! … The real LBJ… I always cringe when people refer to LeBron James as “LBJ”… His middle name doesn’t start with a B… His mom may be dumb, but she’s not that dumb to name him Le  Bron  James… But I digress… That’s some of my Clevelander coming out.

Any how, on this August 27, the LBJ Presidential Library and Museum was having a birthday party for President Johnson… He wasn’t there… He’s dead… But I went… Because this was something Texasy… And it was literally 100 yards from my office as the LBJ Presidential Library and Museum are on the campus of TU.

It was a grand old party… I had fun, but really never got around to looking at the exhibits and hwat not… I went to the party again the next year and then went with co-worker Travis in 2008 for the big 100th Birthday blowout… It was a shindig to beat all shindig with all sorts of dignitaries… But I still never looked around at the exhibits.

My first time seeing the sights and sounds in the grand building was in October 2010 as a break from Eat Me Austin III: Sisterhood of the Traveling Fat Pants… A six-stop eating tour through Austin… I loved it… I learned… And I love learning… It ranks up there with BBQ and pie.

It was also the site of my first-ever Twittering mishap… I wanted to Tweet “I’m at the LBJ Presidential Museum and Library… The only library for made for the President who had JFK killed” on my personal Twitter account… In the middle of the Tweet, my phone crashed… When the phone rebooted, I forgot that it would go to the Texas Baseball default Twitter account… In my forgetfulness, I sent out the Tweet… Immediately upon hitting the “send” button, I realized my horrifically funny mistake… It took me about 30 seconds to delete that Tweet, but of course in that 30 seconds all of the only flaming liberal Texas Baseball fans saw the Tweet and sent their anger in my direction… It’s not the last Twitter mishap I’ve ever had... Anerica!

In addition to possibly having JFK whacked, LBJ was a close-talker.

Any how it was a fun visit and like I said, I learned a lot… And it was worth the price… Which was free… Best bang for the buck in Austin.

Two weeks ago, I made a return trip… And it’s 150% better… They refurbished most of it, so it’s almost a whole new place… The videos are now state-of-the-art and the presentation and signage was brought into the 21st century… The Library will soon be charging a nominal fee, but until then there is a transition period in which they’re suggesting donations… Even when there is an admission fee, it will be worth the price.

My return visit to the LBJ Library and Museum... I Farleyed It!

There’s nothing more American than a Presidential Library and Museum… Don’t believe me?... Try to find one in Communist Russia… Or Socialist Europe.

Generally, the “Library” portion has a majority of the Presidents’ papers, records, collections and materials and scholars and researchers can peruse through the documents by appointment… The “Museum” portion is open to everyone and has permanent displays pertaining to the President and then some temporary exhibits to "keep it fresh".

“Who had the first Presidential Library?” you might ask… None other than Rutherford B. Hayes… That’s right… Rudy… Rudy… Rudy… Rudy... Dates back to 1909.

You might be surprised to find out that not every former President has a Library and Museum… As a matter of fact, just 22… Notable Presidents that currently don’t have one include John Adams (John Quincy Adams has one), James Madison, James Monroe, Andrew Jackson and Chester Arthur… Most of the "Libraries" and "Museums" are housed in the same complex, but Gerald Ford has his Museum in Grand Rapids and his Library in Ann Arbor... 130 miles apart.

They like Ike!

The “Presidential Library System” is a network of 13 libraries overseen by the Office of Presidential Libraries under the direction of the National Archives and Records Administration… Every former President since Herbert Hoover now has one.

The National Park System administers some “birthplaces” and “homes” and other historic sites for numerous other Presidents which are also often well worth the visit.

Much like with frisky co-eds, the busts are often my favorite part of a Presidential Library

If you like history and/or you like politics, Presidential Libraries and Museums are fantastic places to visit… So far I’ve been to six, including LBJ, George HW Bush (on the campus of Texas A&M - I'll take you when you don't visit), Ronald Reagan (Simi Valley, California), Richard Nixon (Yorba Linda, California), Dwight D Eisenhower (Abilene, Kansas) and William McKinley (Canton, Ohio)… The only one that disappointed a little bit was the McKinley one… They aren’t part of the Office of Public Libraries, so they’re struggling to stay above water… With that in mind they’ve added a “Fascination Station” and “Discover World” to talk about dinosaurs and robots… Basically trying to attract kids… Unless McKinley had something to do with dinosaurs and robots that I don’t know about.
 

You can't hide this excitement!

President McKinley is well recognized as the first U.S. President to ride a dinosaur, so this makes sense in his library and museum.

Unless you’re a right-wing whack job or the more common left-wing whack job, you can enjoy the Presidential Library and Museum no matter what the party affiliation of the inhabitant.

I’ve added the ones I haven’t seen to my ever-growing bucket list… Coming up soon the Ulysses S Grant Presidential Library in Starkville, Mississippi; William J. Clinton Presidential Center in Little Rock and George W.Bush Presidential Center in Dallas.

The Quintessential Quintet for the Week (8/23/13)

Five Things From The Week That Was...

1. A little bit of chicken fried…
It’s obvious that you can chicken fry chicken… That’s why it’s “chicken-fried”… I can’t believe I had to explain that to you… You can also chicken fry steak… The cool people call it CFS… At Jack Allen’s Kitchen in Austin, they’re also chicken frying pork chops and beef ribs, too… The stuff is dynamite… I hit up JAK on Sunday afternoon with a friend and scarfed down on the chicken-fried pork chops… CFPC!... I imagine they would’ve been amazing as just regular pork chops… Nice and juicy… But the other white meat prepared like thee white meat took it up a couple echelons.

Chicken Fried Pork Chop! With Sweet Potato(e) Fries... Don't worry... The Jalapeno Gravy is on the side

The Chicken Fried Beef Rib, from a prior visit, with the Jalapeno Gravy on top.

Bonus! I didn’t know it was National Potato(e) Day on Monday, until Tuesday, but thankfully on Sunday I made up for it by having multiple potato(e) items…  Jack Allen’s Red Chile Fries (Idaho(e)s with red chile, scallions, lime juice, cotija cheese, cilantro and garlic aioli.) are a full-sensory experience everyone needs to have at least once… I also had their sweet potato(e) fries with my meal… While it’s tasty with the garlic aioli, I think they would’ve been even more amazing with a cinnamon butter of some sort.

Red Chile Fries at Jack Allen's Kitchen... One of the best fry items in Austin... If not the world.

2. Tis The Season
It’s nearing the end of August… That means college football season fixin' to commence… But it’s not the only thing starting… I’m working my first soccer game of the season tonight… Field hockey, men’s soccer, women’s soccer is starting at college’s throughout the country… And in addition to big-time Ohio State, Texas A&M, USC football, there’s small school football starting throughout the country… Go catch the Monmouth Hawks or Baldwin-Wallace Yellow Jackets or whoever your local team is play on the gridiron… It’s a cheaper ticket and you’ll probably get a better seat… The kids love to play in front of crowds and they provide an entertainment value... It’s a good way to get out of the house and mingle with the community.

Support you local team!

Affordable fun for the whole family!

3. Otter Be In Pictures
Nothing’s more American than a new zoo… They didn’t originate in America… Much like Sanford & Son, The Office and Kitchen Nightmares, we stole it from the Brits… But we do them better than anyone else… Great news from the Woodland Park Zoo in Seattle this week on the zoo front… They got some baby Otters back in June and they’ve been unleashed to the public!... Nothing better than a Zooborn!... Get there!... BTW... Woodland Park Zoo got www.zoo.org!... They're on the cutting edge of interwebial zooing!

Otter pups! (photo from Woodland Park Zoo)

Zoos in America have awesome animals like baby otters… Go to Communist China and you find big-ass dogs dressed up like an African Lion.

It's Simba!

4. I was disappointed to find out it wasn’t a house made of sausage.
Once a summer I meet my friends Heath and Dave for lunch… We all worked together for a year at New Mexico State, now one of us works in College Station, one works in Waco and one works in Round Rock… The most central meeting location was the Belton/Temple area, so I picked out a place I had heard about that was recommended by local native Taylor Jungmann… His most famous quote to date is “I love sausage” which came when asked about having to get used to eating sausage instead of brisket since he was drafted by the Milwuakee Brewers… He recommended Green’s Sausage House in Zabcikville (a suburb of Temple, if that’s possible)… I’ll be honest… The first time I heard of the place, I was hoping it was actually a house made of sausage… But once I got past the initial disappointment, everything was fine… It’s half butcher shop and half restaurant… The restaurant is slinging some good old-fashioned diner food… I ordered the double sausage burger with cheese and cheese tots… Why are more people not making sausage burgers?!?!?!?!?!? It was perfection… Sausage cross-dressing as a hamburger… Next time I’m ordering it with a fried egg… That would make the perfection more perfect… The butcher shop is slinging some badass sausage, too... I bought about eight pounds worth to bring home... Some knackwurst, some jalapeno cheese pork sausage and some boudin... If you can get to Green’s Sausage House, you should do… It’s now highly recommended by two people who “love sausage.”

92% of all places with a pig on their sign are awesome... It's a scientific fact.

The cheese double sausage burger and cheese tots.

5. This Week’s Dog: Spirit Hound Distillers
The microbrewery movement is played out… Every town has multiple microbreweries and most of them are peddling tainted brews… But fortunately the microdistillery movement is picking up steam… According to the American Distilling Institute there were only 24 in the USA, but in 2011 the number had ballooned to nearly 300… On my recent visit to Colorado, I happened upon one by accident… I like whisk(e)y… On the way to Estes Park one day, we drove past a place that appeared to be a liquor store that had an awesome sign that said “Whisky From Colorful Colorado”… I needed to get a picture with that sign… So the next day, I headed back to the place with my brother and sister-in-law… It turns out it wasn’t a liquor store… It was a microdistillery… Who knew they had those? … This place was Spirit Hound Distillers… And while they were fixin' to be a Whisky Distillery, they just started the process last October, so their first batch of whisky won’t be available until October 2014… Until then though, they are peddling some mean-ass “White Dog Moonshine”, Gin and Richardo’s Decaf Coffee Liqueur (which the owner has been producing for 20 years)… I brought a bottle of the Moonshine and the Coffee Liqueur home with me, but I hadn’t got a chance to crack any of it open until last Saturday… The Decaf Coffee Liqueur is better than Kahlua… I mixed a little bit with some Tres Leches Liqueur and Vodka for a Spanish Russian and a good night sleep… If you’re in the Boulder/Estes Park region, swing by Lyons and get some... They'll give you a hearty sample of each of their offerings in their tasting room and a quick tour of their little operation... Stick around to enjoy some of their magical mixed drinks and enjoy the beautiful outdoor patio in the back.

The sign that drew me into heaven!

Don't be scared... It aint your dad/boyfriend's Moonshine

Throwback Thursday Movie Review: Brubaker

It's Throw Back Thursday Movie Review day again... Last time we did a movie most people had seen... Planes, Trains and Automobiles... This time we're doing a movie probably nobody has seen... Brubaker (1980).

Synopsis (Spoiler alert): When I tell you the concept of the movie, it’s not hard to spoil the beginning of it for you… Henry Brubaker is the new warden at a state prison in Arkansas… He spends the first few days (weeks?) as a prisoner incognito to help identify the corruption and crime (charging for medical attention, rampant sexual assault, electrical torture [Tucker telephone], extortion, flogging, embezzling and reselling of food and supplies) going on in the prison system… He then reveals himself and enlists some of the prisoners to help him enact his reforms… But that rubs those who used to benefit from the corruption, including prison board members, local townfolk and trusties (prisoners who doubled as guards because the prison system didn’t have salaried guards), the wrong way.

The meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee-ow of the movie: 95 percent of the cast is dudes… But Jane Alexander was meowable back in the day.

Jane Alexander... 1980s Meeeee-ow.

Why to watch?
1. It might be the best prison-themed movie with Morgan Freeman in it… “Better than ’Shawshank Redemption’?”, you say… It might be… Fairly close… When things are close, I give the benefit of the doubt to the true story.

Before 'Shawshank Redemption' Morgan Freeman was tearing up prisons in Alabama.

2. It might be the best prison-themed movie directed by Stuart Rosenberg… “Better than ‘Cool Hand Luke’?”, you say… It’s fairly close… I’m going to call this one a wash.

3. It might be the best film to team up Robert Redford and Wilford Brimley… “Better than ‘The Natural’?”, you say… Actually, no… It’s not… I’m lying… It has Wilford Brimley in it though… And that’s always a plus… Especially pre-diabeetus Wilford.



4. It’s a fairly close representation of a true story… It’s a fictionalized version of a book by Tom Murton, a prison warden who uncovered scandals in the Arkansas prison system in the late 1960s… The beginning part of the movie where Brubaker posed as a prisoner did not happen in real life to the best that I can tell from an hour of Google research… I’m guessing it was done as a dramatic device to more effectively portray the shitty conditions in the prisons rather than just tell you it was happening.

5. It’s Nicolas Cage’s first film! Normally you will find “Nicolas Cage was in it” under my ‘Why to not watch’ column, but apparently it’s a brief appearance… I watched the movie twice and couldn’t pick him out… Which is why it’s a good reason to watch… Maybe you’ll find him… And can tell me where he is.

6. It is credited by some for the birth of the modern day Slow Clap… I actually found out about this movie when I started my soon-to-be-releases blog exposé on the Slow Clap... You can see parts of the scene mixed into this trailer starting at about 1:01 and on!



7. Robert Redford is in it… Despite giving the impression most of the time that he might be an effing commie, Redford is a pretty good actor… Hard to believe he never won an Oscar… But I knew the Oscars were tainted when ‘Driving Miss Daisy’ won an Oscar for best film over ‘Do The Right Thing’… While this isn’t the hardest acting performance (Not hard to act outraged about blatant corruption and crime), he does a good job with it.

8. Does anybody play an untrustworthy shady-ass politician better than Murray Hamilton? It's like the Jaws' Mayor Vaughn all over again.

I've tried to find Mayor Vaughn's sport coat on eBay.

Why to not watch.
1. It’s not going to ‘Wow’ you and it can move slow at times and it has some predictableness… While I recommend the movie, it’s with some tepidness… After all, I recommended “There Will Be Blood” to people and they hated me for years.

2. At times it has a made-for-television feel to it, but that may just be because it was made in 1980… One of my favorite movies “All The Right Moves” has the same feel… So I wouldn’t flush it down the shitter for that reason alone… Just think it could have been so much better if it was done 10 years later... If it was done in 1994 (the same year as Shawshank Redemption) it may have been a superior film.

Best line of the movie: Lillian Gray: You can't reform the system if you're not in it.
Role that Robert Loggia should’ve been given: I think Robert Loggia could have pulled off Robert Redford’s role as Brubaker, but he might’ve been more suited to replace David Keith as the “lifer” prisoner who helps Brubaker institute some of his reforms.
Degrees to Kevin Bacon: James Keane is a 1… He was in Murder in the First (1995) with Kevin Bacon… Hard to believe that Morgan Freeman, Robert Redford, Murray Hamilton, David Keith, Nicolas Cage are all 2’s
Will you laugh: No.. It’s not a dramatic comedy.
Will you cry: No… You might have a shocked face once in a while, but no reason to cry… You might slow clap, though.
Can you watch it with your grandmother: Yes.
Can you watch it with your children: Meh… Depends on how old… I wouldn’t watch with anyone under 16 if it were me, but that’s because I’m a responsible adult… Although they don’t show it, you know dudes are being raped in a few scenes because of various noises.
Is it worse than "Grown Ups"?: No… But the people responsible for “Grown Ups” need to spend a few weeks at Brubaker’s prison.
Is it better than "Furry Vengeance"?: No… I’m taking Brendan Fraser over Robert Redford this one time.

On a scale from 1 to 32: I give it a 26.37... It’s a solid movie and everybody should watch it at least once… Not sure if I’d go out of the way for a second viewing, but I’d watch it a second time if it was on… But it never is.

My Texas

Tomorrow’s a special day… Not for you… For me… Well, I guess if you love me it means it’s special for you, too… It’s a special day for you… It’s two anniversaries… It’s the end of my seventh year living in Texas and the end of my first year living in real Texas.

August 22, 2006 I arrived in Austin, Texas… August 22, 2012 I arrived in Bryan-College Station, Texas… Both were landmark occasions… For those places.

With seven years in the books, Texas finally passed New Jersey as my second home… Both trail the 20 years I spent in beloved Ohio.

In the seven years here I’ve tried to see as much of the Lone Star State as possible… And I think I’ve embraced the Texas Ranger spirit better than most alleged Texicans... I’ve seen a lot, but I know I have a lot left to see… I need to see one of those famed (but probably overrated) Texas High School football games (hopefully Mox is starting)... I need to get to Gruene Hall and Luckenbach, Texas... I need to take a drive down Skyline Drive at Davis Mountains State Park... Future trips need to be booked to Big Bend National Park and Port Aransas... And I need to get out to the George W Bush Presidential Library and Museum... And I'd like to see the Streets of Laredo... And I haven't spent much time milling around Fort Worth.

When I finally leave Texas someday, there are going to be places I miss... And places I’ll want to return to someday...

Here’s my Texas Top 6

1. State Fair of Texas – Even if you don’t have tickets to the Texas-OU game (once called the Red River Shootout, but both parties involved are spineless so it’s now the Red River Rivalry) it’s a glorious events... I love all state fairs and Texas is the fairest of them all... Deep-fried morsels of goodness, pig races, dogs doing tricks, blue-ribbon farm animals, 1990s musical stars... What else can you ask for?... If you can get to the football game, it’s worth going to... Despite the fact that Mack Brown’s ineptness has made the game a blowout in recent years (raises for everybody!), the pageantry is all still there with the Cotton Bowl filled with half Burnt Orange and half Crimson... If I ever won the lottery, I would be here for a week every October.

We Landed On The Moon! Pie!

Don't look at the fat-ass losers or freaks! You look at me.

No, you're never gonna get it / (Ow) / Never ever gonna get it / (No, not this time)

Fletcher's Corny Dog!

Half Burnt Orange... Half Crimson... All Cretin

2. Royer’s Round Top Café – You’ve heard me talk about this place over and over and over and over again... It’s a quaint little café in a quaint little town of 90 people... They make fantastic food and dynamite pie… The pies are among the best in Texas, if not the world... And on Sunday, and Sunday only, they make fried chicken... Among the best fried chicken in the land... If I ever won the lottery, I would be here every Sunday for fried chicken and pie.

Royers White Chocolate Macadamia Nut Pie... With Amy's Ice Cream

I hope this is enough chicken for three!

Always ready to go to Royer's

It's a magical place

3. Lockhart, Texas – The BBQ Capital of Texas, if not the world… Black’s BBQ is dynamite... Kreuz’s is almost as good... Smitty’s is almost as good as Kreuz’s... Chisholm Trail is supposed to be grand, but I’ve never been there… Someday... Top it all off with the fact that many of the exterior scenes in "Waiting For Guffman" were shot here and it is well worth the drive every time... If I ever won the lottery, I’d come here once a week and eat at one, two, three or four of the landmark BBQ spots.

Every where you turn in Lockhart, there's meat! (Black's)

Smitty's Meat Market would even make Chester Arthur drool... But it wouldn't go in his beard!

Blaine (Mo.) City Hall! I can't wait to see "Red, White and Blaine"

4. Snow’s BBQ – You’ve heard me talk about this place over and over and over and over again... It’s a quaint little bbq joint in a quaint little town of 1,282... They make fantastic brisket and pork loin and sausage... It’s all among the best in Texas, if not the world… They’re only open Saturday... From 8 am until they run out of meat... Which is usually by noon… And the Lexington Livestock Commission is right down the street, so you can hear the cows you're going to eat in the future "moo"... If I ever won the lottery, I would spend every Saturday morning here posted up on multiple pounds of multiple meats.

The simple building that is Snow's.

Ready to hom down on some meat.

The meat is always perfect.

5. Wurst Fest – A 10-day salute to sausage... This event is glorious... I love it... It’s hard to believe that if I loved beer I’d love it even more, because the beer here flows like the salmon of Capistrano... The sausage is glorious enough... I could eat it all day and all night... And once or twice I have… Add to the sausage the wonderful polka and German oom-pah music and you have fun for the whole family... Bring your lederhosen... If I ever won the lottery, I would spend 10 days here every year saluting sausage... with a pants tent.

Sirloin on a stick! The rare time at WurstFest that I'll venture away from sauseege!

The Magic Stick! Five different sauseeges!

Old people! Munching on sauseege!

6. Lady Bird Lake Jogging Trail – It’s where I got my start… Started with a short run… It was probably just a half mile on that first run… Soon it was a mile… Before I knew it, I was flying five or six miles at a time… It’s a great path with great scenery…  The scenery includes Lady Bird Lake and the Austin skyline and the frisky co-eds... Ohh the frisky co-eds… And if you're lucky, you get to see one of the "regulars"... Like Unicycle Guy and Intense World Record Speed Walker Guy... Did I mention the frisky co-eds?... If I ever win the lottery, I would go for a two-hour walk here every morning and a one-hour jog here every evening.

The view at Lady Bird Lake... Not as much of the "scenery" in this photo.

Lady Bird Lake is where I cut my teeth in the running world.

So... If you ever want to see Texas through my eyes... Go see and do all those things... You might see me there... Especially if I win the lottery.